The United States has had 45 people serve as President and while many see the position of Commander in Chief as larger than life, they are human too. Even before the watchful eye of news media reported on every gaffe and misstatement that the President makes, they often showed a real sense of humor and still do to this day. Since it is President’s Day, we at the Dean Daily decided to look back at some of the funniest statements made by every President and a statement of our own to add insight.
George Washington
"Gentlemen, you will permit me to put on my spectacles, for, I have grown not only gray, but almost blind in the service of my country."
This is fitting, as the Presidency is known to be a job that ages you.
John Adams
“The happiness of society is the end of government.”
Truthfully, President Adams might be more correct than he realized, especially today.
Thomas Jefferson
“He who knows best, knows how little he knows”
It also might get you elected to the Presidency.
James Madison
“All men having power ought to be distrusted to a certain degree.”
If only modern Presidents would agree.
James Monroe
“A little flattery will support a man through great fatigue”
Or watch whichever news network aligns with their views.
John Quincy Adams
“Wherever there is interest and power to do wrong, wrong will generally be done.”
A common theme among politicians. There is often interest and power to do wrong.
Andrew Jackson
“There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.”
I swear, some of these Presidents have seen the future of American politics.
Martin Van Buren
“Between Russia and the United States sentiments of good will continue to be mutually cherished.”
Vladimir Putin does not approve this message.
William Henry Harrison
“To Englishmen, life is a topic, not an activity.”
Whenever I wonder about if international politics were more civil in the 1800s, I think back to this quote.
John Tyler
“I can never consent to being dictated to.”
That’s actually what the Whig Party said after he wasn’t chosen as their candidate again.
James K. Polk
“I am heartily rejoiced that my term is near its close. I will soon cease to be a servant and will become a sovereign.”
He then died about three months after leaving office.
Zachary Taylor
“In no case can I permit myself to be a candidate of any party or yield myself to any party schemes.”
I wish I had a dollar for every time a candidate said something like this.
Millard Fillmore
“May God save the country, for it is evident that the people will not”
Hey, just like people who vote for (insert the party you disagree with here)!
Franklin Pierce
“Frequently the more trifling the subject, the more animated and protracted the discussion.”
Is this really true? Nobody I know has had animated and protracted discussions surrounding Pierce’s presidency.
James Buchanan
“I am the last President of the United States!”
It’s not like the Civil War happened directly after he left the Presidency or anything.
Abraham Lincoln
“The ballot is stronger than the bullet.”
Unless the bullet is in Ford’s Theatre.
Andrew Johnson
“Washington, D.C. is 12 square miles bordered by reality.”
Maybe if spent more time outside of D.C. and in reality, he would have been a better President.
Ulysses Grant
“Labor disgraces no man; unfortunately, you occasionally find men who disgrace labor.”
Grant would be horrified at modern unemployment rates.
Rutherford B. Hayes
“Must swear off from swearing. Bad habit.”
I respect it, he’s better than most of us.
James Garfield
“The President is the last person in the world to know what the people really want and think.”
He is more correct than he knows.
Chester A. Arthur
“I may be president of the United States, but my private life is nobody's damned business.”
Today’s news media disagrees.
Grover Cleveland
“The United States is not a nation to which peace is a necessity.”
So that’s why all the wars happen.
Benjamin Harrison
“We Americans have no commission from God to police the world”
“Unless they have oil” -Dick Cheney (probably)
William McKinley
“War should never be entered upon until every agency of peace has failed.”
Every President seems to say this before launching an unprovoked war.
Theodore Roosevelt
“Some men can live up to their loftiest ideals without ever going higher than a basement.”
Many of them were eventually elected to the House of Representatives.
William Howard Taft
“Politics makes me sick.”
Maybe that is why Taft only served one term.
Woodrow Wilson
“If you think too much about being re-elected, it is very difficult to be worth re-electing.”
A broken clock is right twice a day I suppose… (he also wanted to seek a third term before having a stroke)
Warren G Harding
“I am not fit for this office and never should have been here.”
If only future Presidents were as honest as Harding.
Calvin Coolidge
“I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm.”
I don’t think he would have liked X (Twitter) or our politicians’ use of it.
Herbert Hoover
“Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.”
Are they really blessed though?
Franklin Roosevelt
“In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way.”
What makes you think that?
Harry Truman
“It sure is hell to be President.”
Dewey dodged a bullet.
Dwight Eisenhower
“Oh that lovely title, ex-President.”
I’m sensing a theme with a lot of these guys.
John F. Kennedy
"You know nothing for sure...except the fact that you know nothing for sure."
That is unless you work for the mob or the CIA.
Lyndon Johnson
“While you're saving your face, you're losing your a**.”
Say it with me: Hey-Hey, LBJ!...
Richard Nixon
“I am not a crook!”
That’s what they all say. Then again, they didn’t break into the Democratic Headquarters.
Gerald Ford
“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.”
I know at least one President has done it intentionally and you can’t convince me otherwise.
Jimmy Carter
“Whatever starts in California unfortunately has an inclination to spread.”
The “Don’t California My Texas” movement agrees.
Ronald Reagan
"My fellow Americans. I'm pleased to announce that I've signed legislation outlawing the Soviet Union. We begin bombing in five minutes."
With everything going on now, it could very well happen.
George H.W. Bush
"I do not like broccoli and I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm president of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli."
Unpopular opinion: Broccoli is underrated.
Bill Clinton
"It depends on what the meaning of the words 'is' is."
I believe ‘is’ just means is(land).
George W. Bush
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
So that explains the Patriot Act.
Barack Obama
“Why can't I just eat my waffle?”
Keep calm and eat waffles and google his administration’s role in the Kunduz Hospital airstrike.
Donald Trump
“I'm the Ernest Hemingway of 140 characters.”
Is that on X or Truth Social? Just Wondering.
Joe Biden
“If I don't run for president, we'll all be OK.”
I’m Joe Biden and I approve this message.
Those are some of the funniest quotes from all the people who have served as President so far. As we see more Presidents in the future, it is guaranteed that we will hear more gaffes, one-liners, and funny quotes. While things may look dire globally a sense of humor might just get us through these times.
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